Bobby & Whitney ~~ Ghetto Royalty

The Brits have been embarassed by their royales for centuries ... now its our turn. Being Bobby Brown, Bravo’s new reality show featuring alleged R&B badboy and his equally beleaguered pop goddess of a wife has people talking, shaking their heads, and some at choice moments … even cringing in embarrassment. First off ... It’s clear to me that the Browns still are firmly versed in the art of getting high. Yeah. I said it. You never see them drifting off to take a hit or toke, but those of us once well versed in that particular 'art' ... know the behavior.

I could be wrong, have been once or twice. But if I was a betting man . . . . As I watched the show Bobby and Whitney turned into people I’d seen before. In the restaurant where he painstakingly drained all the glasses on the table before leaving … I’ve got an uncle who used to do that, said that since he paid for them all he was gonna drink them. Then he'd systematically go around the table draining glasses.

He was a little ghetto, that uncle. Just a little.

Then there was a point where Bobby was so drunk he couldn’t get his shoe completely free of his foot; a dilemma which caused him great stress and went on for much longer than seemed necessary. Whitney, meanwhile, puttered aimlessly nearby refusing to play that game with him yet 'again'.

Again? Was staggering in a stupor a nightly thing?

Behavior like that is what has people shaking their heads and worrying about the children. But bitching about how they act and how it’s a shame and whatnot . . . won’t change the fact that the Browns, in spite of global celebrity, awards and ample fortune, are still GHETTO as HELL. We’ve all got family members who act just like that … some of us ARE that family member. We’ve got friends and family who get drunk and have difficulty removing their shoes, friends who will say the most hideously inappropriate thing and embarrass the fuck out of us … and yet, they remain on our Christmas lists.

These are two very bold, very famous, very rich, people putting their crazy lives on camera for all the world to see. I think, if nothing else, it lets us know that the rich and famous do the same things that us average Joes do ... just without a camera crew documenting our every move. Of course if we had them, most of us would have stopped the cameras the moment Bobby went up "doodie-bubble" road. That was a cringe moment. It also reminded me of a friend who happens to be known for the inappropriate 'shit' conversation. I understand the pair better now (having been confounded more than once by my own shoe in a drugged stupor), and give them the highest KUDOs for having the balls to put it out there raw, straight up, no chaser. And think about it this way, the show kinda gives us all a chance to keep an eye on their kids. Yeah, they’re gonna have some issues. But how many of us grew up without being a little screwed up by our parents? And how many celebrity kids, for that matter, aren't destined for therapy anyway? Yeah, little Bobbi has years of counseling ahead of her . . . but probably not as much as 'Blanket' Jackson. Just like there is room on this planet (contrary to some) for fats, fems, and old heads ... there's certainly room in this world for the phenomenally flawed, unashamedly ghetto, Browns. Whether we like it or not, the Browns are our Ghetto Royalty. So stop bashing them and hating them. They aren't making "us all" look bad, because it's not their job to represent the entire black community. But they do however represent the cream of a growing class of filthy stinking rich ghetto heads . . . a class that will have us cringing in embarassment for many many years to come.

Embrace them. Embrace them like you do that loud aunt who never rings the doorbell but opts instead to scream through the window. Embrace them, because if we're really honest with ourselves ... they are us ... at our best and worst. I’ll keep watching because I believe they'll never cease to amuse, amaze … and embarrass the fuck outta me. I love 'em anyway.