A 'Gather' in BKLYN ~ The REBUTTAL

"Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself. Perhaps I should advise would-be enemies to send me their grievances beforehand, with full assurance that they will receive my every aid and support. I have even secretly longed to write, under a pen name, a merciless tirade against myself." ~~ Jorge Luis Borges, 1907 ~~~~ Thanks Larry L. for the cool quote.

I got a note from Jahlaunehunt@aol.com last night regarding that Brooklyn function I blogged about. Here is the email in yellow, weaved with my response:

Jahlaune ... despite being an admitted quirky self-absorbed asshole, I understand your ire at my supposed intrusion into your personal affairs regarding the cool jam-session, 'A Gather in Brooklyn'. I apologize if I offended you. But then again, when someone bumps into me in a club ... I apologize also, because that's just the way I was raised. Though in a sense, I did intrude on your personal space, insinuating discriminatory behavior in a private event in a private space. My bad. Although you posted the orginal flyer (and this email) to a group (NNY'ers) with twenty-thousand some odd members, you still have the right to your privacy. I really don't think you "caught it" from me in my BLOG (RingNews), if only because I never actually threw anything. I praised the event for being cool & positive, and thought when I first read it, that it was what OUR community needs more of ... places where brothers who love brothers can come together and slough off all the bullshit we are bombarded with on a daily basis for being black ... AND same-gender-loving to boot. However, the "be masculine" disclaimer just fucked up all those good vibrations. I'm sorry (there I go again, it's a knee-jerk sorta thing), but it did. Suddenly I was at a hot club known for its pick & choose policy, wondering if I looked good enough, tall enough, ripped enough, stylish enough, masculine enough on that particular night, to gain access to their inner-sanctum. You said ...

Wow I caught it from Mr. Taylor in his Blog about the fact that there was a disclaimer on the ad for the gathering in Brooklyn that was held for masculine brothers that play an instrument. I see this as hating because there is no law that states drag queens, semi drag queens and overtly feminine men needed to be there period.

You're right, there is no law. You have the right to snub as many people as you choose to, that's what makes America, uh, what it is. The Christian Conservatives would like to string them up Iran-Stylie, so I guess you're not alone in your stance. Just remember when they do it, your boy, who you describe as a "feminine man", isn't gonna be immune.

I was the host and someone else put up the money for the jam session. If he had wanted it any other way that's the way it would have been.

Or ... (just playing devil's advocate here) ... you could've taken some sort of stance against the blatant discrimination against an entire class of SGL men, a faction which has enough on its plate and shouldn't have to put up with bullshit from the greater community of African-American dick loving men like ourselves. I stand by that.

Moreover and directly to the point I date a feminine man and he wasn't there either.

First off .. ?!!? Second ... he clearly wasn't wanted there. Kudos to him for not being dense.

Ironically, when situations like this occur and a person feels snubbed I offer a sincere apology.

'I'm sorry, you're a little too cunt to get in here, but much luv to ya bruh.' Nice. Real fuckin nice.

Regardless that it wasn't intended to hurt a persons feeling but rather to hold a function with a like minded group of mature individuals.

... who just don't like associating with the queeny element, yeah, I got that. And it's your right; I got that too. But is turning your back on these fellow SGL men good mojo ... considering the fact that in the grand scheme of things, regardless of personal delusions, you occupy the same lower echelon?

Because I have always admired your writings and comments I must admit that I was shocked at the poor choice you made in your stance regarding this issue. I can only assume you felt the need to hopefully gather a army of like minded pea brains that would what? Storm the Internet with banners saying fem's need to be everywhere they want to be?

Ouch. Not sure I like the pea-brain part, my friend ... seems clichéd. I would have tried Neanderthal-brained, or maybe ... amoeba-brained, or anything to suggest an organism which obviously can't see the obvious ... but that's just my style. Storm the internet? Yeah, actually, I figured we'd put all our peas together and maybe come up with something thought-provoking to disseminate. What better way to make people question their actions and those of others ... if not on the net?

For the record I am thirty years old and this may be the upteenth party we have hosted. Never are they advertised in the yahoo groups and I because i enjoy these groups thought there would not be any problems in doing so. Moreover you might need to understand The area where these events are held designates who should be invited. This was not a sex party or meet and greet or hook up for those that are without signifigent others.

The 'area' designates who should be invited? I'm not gonna touch that one. In your defense, sex parties are notoriously and blatantly discriminatory, which I half-heartedly understand. I personally can't get my groove on if a guy is watching me--or god forbid, touching me--who doesn't make Mr. Wigglez rise and say w'sup. But we are talking sex here, not a jam session. The fact that I can't hump someone who doesn't turn me on ... in no way correlates to not being able to share professional and/or social space with them without feeling uncomfortable. But in response to the sex-party disclaimers of no FATS or FEMS, other groups have sponsored their own events. Good for them. And I can hear you thinking that's what fem musicians should do, get their own thing and leave yours alone. I guess they probably should. But just think of the possible heights which could be reached if all the walls just fell down, and everyone embraced diversity--which, I thought, is what we were all fighting for. It's not like you've gotta 'get it up' or anything. Although in this case, you clearly like fem guys sexually ... therefore your support of this disclaimer alludes to a pathology of another sort.

Secondly, sometimes these events are held for lip stick lesbians and butch lesbians are not invited. I have (as usual) never heard a complaint or temper tantrum thrown by the females.

The tiny green vegetable masquerading as my brain is having difficulty with this logic, explaining away one sort of snub with another ... I'll have to meditate on that. Suffice it to say, lesbians do tons of things which I don't give a BLOG about.

Third and foremost, a jam session is hosted with front money from various musicians who are in town working. It's a discreet affair except for the music and whoevers money has went towards the liquor and food has the last say on who gets invited. Secondly, would we be at fault for having a jam session for just musician union members? Would there be an outcry from non union musicians who don't make a living from music? Surely, Sir you are not as simple as your blog presented you to be.

Actually ... yeah ... I am. Sorry.

I hope this clears up any ill conceived thoughts you may have harbored regarding bias in this case. Last but not least. I appreciate all the people who wrote civil letters asking why singers were not welcome. I will post this response in this e mail, Because singers sometimes require special keys, tempo, etc the piano player requested no singers. Even tho they sneak in any way! A gathering is a very pleasant way to meet people and perhaps sir you might want to host your own and then you can dictate who gets in. On a last note I enjoyed meeting the brothers that came out and told me they were from Nubian New Yorkers. It was great to put a face with the e mails! Jahlaune K. Hunt

Bottom line is, you're going to do what you feel is right. More power too you in that respect, and I do wish you the greatest success, sincerely ... because there is nothing that warms my soul more than seeing SGL brothers getting together and doing their thing on the positive tip. That's why I put the event in my blog in the first place. But I would've been remiss if I'd let the disclaimer go unnoticed, as if it wasn't a swipe at a lot of good brothers I know, who just may happen to have the tiniest swish in their flow. I'd be curious to know, Jahlaune, how your boy feels about this exchange? Maybe I just take things too personally; maybe I empathize a little too much. I've never been overweight either, but I have large friends, and seeing the disrespect OUR community doles out to large brothers just makes me wanna cry. But here's an unquestionably positive gathering that I recently discovered, one where all or welcomed, and one that I came away from feeling invigorated ... like I'd just had my battery recharged. The diverse amount of positive-minded SGL brothers in attendance boggled my little green brain to such an extent I could barely speak through-out the evening. It's called The Black Men's Xchange http://www.BMXNY.org ... and over the course of one evening, it restored my faith in the possibility of OUR community gelling as a force to reckoned with. You should come too, Jahlaune, everyone should experience it at least once. Here it is:

Welcome To The Black Men's Xchange. This email/post is for the gathering on Friday, July29th, 2005BROTHERS! ALTHOUGH NOT REQUIRED, BRINGING A POTLUCKDISH OR BEVERAGE OF YOUR CHOOSING WOULD BE A GENEROUS OFFERING THANK YOU!

TOPIC: WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT INTIMACY?

* What does vulnerability mean to me?

* How does self-trust affect my capacity for intimacy?

* What don't I trust about myself?

* What does it mean to let another man in?

* Is there anyone in my life whom I am completely honest with, and without ego?

Let's talk about it among other brothers at the BlackMen's Xchange. Location: 730 Riverside Drive [@ 150th Street]Suite 9EHarlem, NYTime: 8:00PM - 11:00PM [Every Friday Night]For information:Call 212/330-7660or email us at BMX_NY@blackwebportal.com Check us out by logging on at:

http://www.BMXNY.org Directions: Take the #1 or #9 train to 145th Street, or the M4 or M5 bus to 149th Street.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++BMX SUMMER 2005 CALENDAR

Sunday, August 21st, 2005: BMX NY Picnic[tentative and more info to be announced later]PLEASE NOTE: BMX NY WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING THE MONTHOF AUGUST 2005 AND RESUME ON FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH,2005!!!!! PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS ACCORDINGLY, ANDLET OTHER BROTHERS KNOW WHO MAY NOT RECEIVE THISEMAIL/POST! THANK YOU!! - BMX NY STAFF